Tuesday 7 June 2011

Once Upon A time

Once Upon A Time

by Murray Legro on Tuesday, June 7, 2011 at 8:00am

Once Upon A Time long ago in another land and another place there was this little baby. Ohh he was alovely little baby, the apple of his mother's eye. he had lived for nine months snuggled up and warm in her womb and he had been content and at peace. After he was born his mother cradled nursed and loved him for a full 6 weeks and all was good in the land.

Then one day this little baby lost his mummy. he was taken amidst great screaming and crying from his mother by big bullies who gave him to another. he did not know his mummy did not want him to go. he did not know his mummy was so sad. he just knew his world was taken from him forever. At six weeks of age that little boy lost all that was near and dear to him and he felt betrayed. That little boy was never able to completely give his heart to another for the rest of his life for his hearg had been completely broken. he had been rejectected and would always fear rejection for his entire life.

The little boy did grow and prosper unaware of the dark undertones pulsating through his body. he did not know why he lost his temper frequently. he did not know why he could not have loving times with what he thought was his mother and father even though they all loved each other dearly. he did not know why he always wanted more and could not obtain it. he would forever remain a frightened little boy yearning for that he had lost all those aeons ago.

The little boy grew up into a man who whilst having so many insecurities had a career, married a lovely lady and had three children He put is soul into his work and failed to bond with his children and never knew why this was so. he was also resentful of the authoritarian nature of his military career but learned how to use the system to obtain what he thought were just goals. he had taken a position which ensured he could be party of a structured group yet was on the edge of that group.

Fourteen years into that carreer this now young man with a family of three discovered that the life he had been leading was based on one huge untruth. He had been adopted and the parents who had nutured him for so many years had betrayed him. The little boy in this man seethed at this betrayal. twice now in his life he had something taken from him and all trust was shattered. on the outside the man did function almost as normal except he drowned his sorrows in a sea of alcohol and anger. but the man did settle down whilst he seethed underneath. This anger dis ocasionally rise to the surface but in general remained under control

After the passing of his mother who had raised him the man started a search for his true and only mother, the one who carried him and did nurture him all those years ago only to be taken from him. After years of searching he did find his mother only to be rebuffed and rejected. The man in him did shrug his shoulders but the little boy who had so yearned for his mother silently seethed. This rejection by the one he yearned for was exacerbated some 12 months later when again his mother did not meet when he was visiting his mother sister.

On the surface all appeared well for this man but in his subconscious his mind was troubled. he lived his life as a model citizen. Then one day he became aware of an inquiry that was looking at the past in relation to adoption. he ethusiatically threw himself into the fray as there where mothers there who wanted his support. And he did support them so much. Here were mothers who were accepting of him. he knew in his mind that his true mother was a kind person who had been so shamed by the past she was too frail and scared to meet him but in his heart he was yearning to be accepted by a mother. he thought they would respect his views even if they did not agree with them and he felt wanted. Sadly he was betrayed.

The mothers he had placed his faith in were sadly unable to cope with the reality of their tragic past and were full of rage. They could not accept that this person had a mind and opinion of his own. So they forced him away from their hearts. Then they tried to remove people who he had cared for from his life, they ridiculed his opinions they attempted to breakdown his ethics. they did all things no normal mother would do to a child. The boy who was a man had again felt betrayed.

And that my friends is the tale of the little boy that was. Yet it is a tale that for some of the estimated 300,000 Australians who were adopted is so familiar. Isn't that a crying shame

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