For decades adoptees have been told by interest groups how they have been so adversely affected by the removal from their mothers and how this cruel act has left us vulnerable, higher incidents of emotional issues and other traits that seem to be similar within the adoptee tribe. In Australia this has been blamed on the forced adoption era and the methods used to remove us from our mothers and yes the different ages we were upon removal. In fact many people have and are profiting from this accepted theories worldwide and alternative healing " professionals" have been also at play to ensure the status quo remains. But what if they were wrong; what if there has been a attempt to cover up the mothers role in this, the issues we have to reduce their feelings of guilt which has come from us being removed in many different circumstances. What if the primal wound was in fact the results higher level of stress and other circumstances whilst we were developing in the womb. What if????????
I am not a professional , just a ordinary adoptee who because of my past based upon falsehoods questions everything and have been concerned at the lack of modern day research into adoptees as adults. I put forward these ideas with the aim to make adoptees think and not just accept the social attitudes of the adoption community. this is the context under which this is presented.
I am not trying to diminish the effects that removal from our natural parent has impacted upon our lives. But i do question the exclusiveness of that impact. many children are removed from parents at early age not just adoptees and as the HILDA(living in Australia) study as shown as reported in the AIFS study The life satisfaction scores of 8 to 10 on a standardised scale where o = poor satisfaction and 10 high satisfaction 61 percent of the 148 adoptees in the HILDA sample scored 61 percent against the non adopted of 67 percent. I am using the HILDA result as this is a longitudinal study where the household were selected by randomised house selections within census districts. Furthermore the WHO Quality of life instrument showed overall satisfaction with life for adoptees was 3.5 with a standard deviation of 1.2 against the Australian norms of 3.6 and a 0.9 standard deviation.
The AIFS study of 825 adoptees also showed that the higher the level of education amongst adoptees the higher the score in life satisfaction scales. With adoptees representing an above Australian average of post secondary education, the significance of the life style available to them also need consideration if we could compare them to those who were institutionalised and not adopted. Overall adoptees have fared a better lifestyle than those who have been placed in institutions and into the rotating foster care system. but that does not mean we do not have major issues, rather we have overall a much better ability to process the issues and lead productive lives.
We must remember however, these abilities to process our trauma and stress will vary from time to time, we will be influenced by parties saying what they think you should believe and just how evil the people who adopted you were. The fact that many elicit sympathy by using terms like ripped from my womb, pillows over heads, passing full blame onto the staff at the home or the hospital and absolving immediate family and society are all designed to make the adoptee feel guilty that their life has in the main been one of greater opportunities. They promote the fallacy that welfare payments in then past meant they could have raised you, thus pushing the greedy adoptive parent mantra. The facts were that any payments in the past would not have been able to support a young lady and her child. Some have blamed the adoptive parents for what their child has become; one in particular blames them for her son's sexuality. Some blame adoptees for not getting a slam dunk in relation to the apology and try to rewrite history. All these whether intentional or not are designed to make the adoptee feel guilty that he has been brainwashed, that life would have been so much better with their mother. The only fact in all this is that in most cases our mothers were never given a opportunity to show they could be good loving parents.
Recent studies have now showed that many of the issues we adoptees have faced have i fact originated within the womb in which we grew. Every body understands how alcohol and drug abuse will lead to babies being born with significant drug addiction and developmental issues
The following links show just some of the research. it has been difficult to look for reputable research as opposed to voodoo magic so forgive me if any of the links are not reputable:
These are just a few of the articles and i am sure many will look for more as well as articles the refute these. Based upon this it is logical to presume that much of what we adoptees do, act feel etc is caused by the long term stress we experienced inside the womb. Whether our removal was forced or not from the moment our mothers became aware of their pregnancy she was placed under unbearable stress,; from parents; from family; from society. Just imagine the stress placed upon a poor young girl being sent to a cold , cruel place by angry parents and then tell me that this level of high stress did not affect we the unborn. it is still happening today in over seas countries and also with surrogacy. it would also be happening with young single pregnant ladies in Australia even though they would most likely keeping their child. Why adoptees can be identified is because we are the most visible group, so the long term error has been to say we are unique. but we are not as any mother undergoing any long term stress will create a potential deleterious affect on the unborn child.
It is now time to get our head out of the sand and realise that we are not unique with these issues and many others also have mental health and emotional issues due to family disruptions and events beyond our control in the womb. it is time our mothers accept that they too contributed to the way we are, not just the cruel hospitals and homes.