Friday, 12 August 2011

Reconciliation with a late discovery adoptees past

The last couple of days, the final piece in the jigsaw that saw the artificial birth on one Murray Roy Legro fell into place. it is now time to put all that has happened into some form of perspective and, yes maybe to cast judgement upon those who raised me.

I have always stated my adoptive parents were good honest folk who were typical low income hard working, honest folk with my mother being religious.  My father worked as a farmhand on the farm he was born on and apart from a weeks away from the place literally died there. I say that because in his minds eye before passing he saw his mother in the paddocks of Tullochgorum.  He was a kindly soul and, so was my mother although she definitely know how not the spoil the child and was quite accomplished with the rod so to speak. it was from this background that my ethics and respect for honesty evolved and made me into the person i am today. I am however very much aware of the genetic effects my true parents have also had upon what i am today.

So how then can one reconcile that background with these basics facts now known to me;

a.  I was unaware of my adoption until over a year after my father had passed.
b.  When informing my mother about 4 years after becoming aware, she continued the lie that she was told my true mother had died. After seeing the Single mothers home where i was born it would have been obvious that she was still alive.
c. It would appear that my mothers was the patient of a famous female doctor in Launceston, and this person was most prominent in the promoting of adoption.
d. The rules governing adoption in Tasmania at the time I was born gave the upper age limit for a male adopter to be 50 years of age.  my father was 52 nearly 53.
e. There was a shortage of babies for adoption at that period so how did my father get past their rules.

Whilst all this is anecdotal it has become very apparent that rules were bent at a time when there was a shortage and the only viable way to grease wheels then as today is by the payment of coffee money (under the counter payments).  A month before i was born we had the Member for Hoddle arise in the federal parliament advising he knew of doctors selling babies,  Was there as link between my mother and her doctors. Did the Salvation Army charge a hefty processing fee. We know they got paid extra for keeping my mother there for the six weeks prior to my removal from her arms.

I can only assume that some dishonest means were used to procure me .  To reconcile these differing pictures is still, a work in progress. Even though I knew we never bonded I also know they loved me.. It is hard to understand what drove these honest hardworking Australians to bend the law . Perhaps one day i will be able to reconcile these two very different pictures of Allan Roy and Ida Millicent May Legro


  1. Muzz, I hear you. Personally, I think it's a work in progress and trying to finding some sort of peace (if that's possible). To work out why people do the things they do is a never ending stuggle. The people that raised me lied to protect themselves no doubt about it. WE deserved so much more.. "Adoption" sucks my friend but know you are not alone and there are lots of people that admire your courage to speak out. Thank you for your honesty.

  2. Muzz, as always, not alone in the maze that is adoption discovery.When you look at the process of adoption at the time you were adopted and when I was and others of course, the stages ensure that there is plenty of opportunity for falsehoods to be created, passed on, heard as fact.Adoption is all about deception and some did their jobs well, convincing adopters that it was the right way to proceed.They were after all protecting the 'illegitimate' by giving them legitimacy and a two parent family, the acceptable norm.It was not seen as important, in fact it was undesirable for 'blank slates' to know the truth.That gave adopters a 'fresh start' with a child but was supposed to do the same for mothers.While we see this as wrong it was once seen in our best interests and was a way of convincing adopters that adoption was acceptable because we would never know or need to know.Adoption was so unregulated that many things were possible then that would not be now.My adopter managed to reverse the decision when he was not approved by a visit and maybe, who knows a greased palm.We were considered the 'unfortunates' the ones no-one wanted, so any little bend in the rules was better than raising us in an institution.
    It's like unravelling a huge knotted ball of string sometimes, we get as far as we can, we have to live with what we find and the puzzles we can't solve but in the end we are us, our own selves, worth so much more than the system believed and showing courage and skills the system taught us without realising.Your courage and your honesty are your best resources Muzz. Von