Tuesday, 18 October 2011

A tribute To My Father

I said goodbye to my Father yesterday.  There were no fancy words from me.  i just placed his remains in a bag and gave them to my half brother so he could take them to Tasmania for the ashes to be scattered at Binalong Bay near St helens where he was raised as a child.  I was meant to take this trip but as my severe depressive illness caused a backlog in my work i had no choice but to stay to finish my work.

It is sad that i could not be there to give a final farewell to man who was my natural father for he was a good man.  i only knew my father for thirteen too short months.  in that time he welcomed me and made me feel truly as his son.  he called me son, something i can never recall my kind adopting father ever saying.  he was complimentary of my adopting parents by saying " well they did a good job with you son"  . if only others in this tragedy called adoption could have such a mature attitude.  We spoke for the first time on the telephone when St Kilda (my football team) played his beloved Adelaide Crows.  I think the saints won that night.  By the end of July 2007 we met at his home in Halletts Cove.  He looked at me and said " Guilty until proven innocent" and the tremendous relationship began. I remember the first morning waking up and here was this 82 year old man cooking me bacon and eggs for breakfast.  i felt uncomfortable and told his lovely wife he does not have to do that as toast and Vegemite is my normal breakfast. she replied that he wants to do things for you so let. It was the same when we went for lunch at the hotel. he insisted on paying which made me feel uncomfortable.  We met about 4 times again after that and each week we would speak on the phone.  he told me about his past as a truck driver doing the Alice springs to Darwin route and putting a bottle of beer in the window screen stone guard to keep it cold whilst travelling.  he told me about paying my mothers father 100 pound and was told to get out of Launceston. his words " they bluffed me and i did" He was honest about what happened and did not try to glorify himself in any way.  he also had much tragedy in his life with a son dying on the football field and a daughter dying a few years before i met him.  he was a typical hardworking old style Labor man who had lived a full life but still had time in his life for a " Bastard Son" .

i will be forever grateful to my father for allowing me into his life even though it was a short time.  I never called him Dad at all out of respect of the kind man who raised me and my father understood why.  however in his final moments whilst he was in a coma I did say to him the words " dad" and i hope he heard them

Goodbye Dad and i hope your journey to Nirvana has been a good journey.  it was a privilege to have known you even for such a short time.  Good Bye !!!!!


  1. thank you sister. it was a bitter sweet day. Good that he is going to the town he loved. Sad i could not go with him.

  2. Sitting here with tears pouring down my face......Im so glad you got to know him before he passed away. My natural father doesnt want to know me or my daughter.

  3. Lovely tribute, wish you could have gone too.