Many adoptees live with the sense of betrayal all their lives and are very sensistive to what they may perceive as further betrayal. it is something we live with all our lives along with the feelings of isolation, which society tried to impose on us, rejection especially if a true parent decides they cannot meet. An adoptees nose is carefully attuned to any signs that may be interpreted as a betrayal of you loyalty, rust and love.
Over the year i have often felt betrayed, Betrayed by my a/parents who did not believe i could handle the truth, betrayed by a society that allowed me to be trade as a commodity. these are just few. and rejection is also part of this betrayal. My mother rejected meeting me twice and as a result, I never felt i was loved or wanted by my true family.
In recent times i have felt betrayed by groups that once, purported to support me, condemning me without right of reply so they can continue their goals of spreading hate and destruction through the adoptee community They freely let untruth and lies to be spread without checking their authenticity.
but what is more disappointing is when people whom i call friends and whom i love agree with these accusations without checking with me first. This climate of hate within the adoption community must cease if all affected want to realise their goals. and for those who support the hate monger's, i say please think of what you are doing and is it worth the costs
individuals or groups who denigrate and attack others have no place in the struggle for recognition of the damage that adoption does. lets work to achieve something constructive. i'd like to see the caring professions alerted to the adverse effects of adoption; counselling for those in need; and searching for lost family made more accessible and cost-free. we have all suffered from our adoption experience. lets not fight against each other, but instead support each other in moving forward.
ReplyDeleteAs more and more adult adoptee's find the courage and the voice to speak up will begin the slowly bring about helping and healing to and for others like themselves. For people like Murray a late stage adoptee treated well by his adopters, loved, wanted and cared for were denied the right to know the truth of his life by hiding the very fact that he is adopted. In concealing this enourmous truth in an attempt to either protect him or themselves most likely born out of love but driven by fear it is still exremely devestating to say the least and exceptionaly harmful to the bearer of such secrets, lies and deciet. I know of a young man who was told on his 18th birthday that he was adopted, he promptly drove himself off a cliff. Accident of a choice? This can be the ultimate response to being adopted and it doesnt jsut happen to those tht find out later in life. As people like Murray tried to find their answeres and are brave enough to make it public teach us all so much about the importance of truthfullness,openness and trust. Along Murray's Journey, as he discovers who is truly meant to be we are given the valuable gift of being a witness to a remarkable person's self awakenings, new found truths, and heart felt insights. Good on you Murray, for allowing others to learn from you! all that come to know you will find they are have become richer for the expereince. hugs Kerri
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